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Published on:

10th Sep 2024

E64 - Saving Our Community - The Antidote for Anger with Guest Robert Dean Bell

Saving Our Community - The Antidote for Anger with Guest Robert Dean Bell

In this episode of Prisoner's Pardon Podcast, host Michi J discusses the pervasive issue of anger in society and its connection to imprisonment. The guest, Robert Dean Bell, a Milwaukee pastor and author of the book '80 Barry White Voices,' shares his transformative journey from a life of violence, anger, and imprisonment to one of forgiveness. Bell recounts the pivotal moments of forgiving the murderer of his brother, reconciling with his mother, and emphasizing the power of forgiveness in changing his life and others. Their conversation delves into how to forgive and the mental, spiritual, and emotional impact of genuine forgiveness, urging listeners to embrace forgiveness as a means to heal and move forward in life.

00:00 Introduction - The Dangerous Impacts of Anger

00:39 Understanding Anger in Society

01:12 The Role of Forgiveness


01:52 Guest Introduction: Robert Dean


02:25 Robert Dean's Journey and Book


04:00 Tragic Loss and the Antidote Forgiveness


08:19 Healing and How it then Transforms and Reconciles Relationships


14:15 The Power of Forgiveness


29:50 The Power of Forgiveness


30:56 Personal Struggles and Redemption


32:03 A Life Changed


33:04 The Impact of True Forgiveness


36:08 The Journey to Self-Forgiveness


38:18 Embracing a New Path


40:12 Overcoming Challenges


43:08 The Rewards of Letting Go


45:36 Final Reflections and Encouragement


Guest Information:

Book: Eighty Barry White Voices: Bell Sr., Robert Dean: 9798884767584: Amazon.com: Books

Church: Milwaukee Campus - Life Church (churchcenter.com)

Transcript
Speaker:

Hello everyone.

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And welcome to a

prisoner's part in podcast.

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I'm your host Meechie J.

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I'm sure everyone has heard about the

latest incident of a shooting in Georgia.

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This is where a young person.

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Took upon himself to, kill a

number of his fellow classmates.

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What is all of us stemming from?

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I say it's anger.

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We're seeing so much anger in our society.

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We see it in road rage.

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We see it in offices.

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We see it at home.

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Work.

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We're see it.

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Our church.

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We're seeing it in ourselves.

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We're just seeing it everywhere.

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And this is what leads

to why a lot of people.

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Are in prison.

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And when even when they get out,

they're still having this anger.

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So, what do we do about this?

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That is what a prisoner's

pardon podcast is all about.

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It's about a pardon?

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A pardon is an act of forgiveness.

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And that's how we counteract anger.

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We do it with forgiveness.

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I'm pretty sure most of us have been told.

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We need to forget.

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But.

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Did they tell you how to do it?

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Did they explain to you that.

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Forgiven someone doesn't necessarily

mean that there's no accountability.

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We're going to be talking about how

to forgive someone for one of the most

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hardest things to forgive a person for.

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Today we're going to

have as a guest is Mr.

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Robert Dean.

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, he is a Milwaukee native.

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He is a, a O D a counselor.

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He's actually now a pastor as well.

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He's a husband, father.

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Business owner, and now he is an author

and we're going to be talking to him

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about his book because he does talk about

forgiveness . Welcome pastor bell.

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How you doing?

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Me I'm doing great.

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I have you now on the show with

me to talk about your new book.

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80 Barry white voices, I want you

to go into detail about the title.

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You guys, I have the book and I've already

read it and I just highly recommend it to

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the audience because it's going to give

you a good insight , just a lot of things

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in life and how you can overcome it.

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But let's tell us more about you.

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Oh, well, my, my name is Robert bill.

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Like you said, I'm born and raised here.

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, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin at

the moment, I'm a pastor.

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I'm the pastor of light church,

Milwaukee here on 56 and burlock.

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I'm a proud and happy husband, uh,

Latrice bill, , seven children.

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Um, just, a new life.

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Oh, yeah.

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I know it's a new life

because I read your book.

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I went through everything and, , yes,

it's definitely a new life and looking

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at you now, most people wouldn't think

that you've been there, but I'm here

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to tell you, no, that's not the case.

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Yes.

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But tell us more about.

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Why did you name the book

80 Barry White Voices?

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I named the book 80 Barry White

Voices because it is what I heard.

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It was the voice of God

that, that changed my life.

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And it's really not giving it away.

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You can still get the book and

you're gonna be like blown away.

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But it was, it was what I heard from God.

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And it sounded like.

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80 barely white voices and

everybody know barely white.

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He was a singer.

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He had a real deep voice, you know,

and I'm talking about it was 80, but

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it was a gentle 80, very white voices

that I heard that changed my life.

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Hmm.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Tell us more about, , I know we

don't want to give the book away,

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but, , we had a tragic thing happen.

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You're leaving.

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It was your younger brother.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Cause you're the oldest, right?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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And he got killed and you had to go

to court and you spoke some about

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forgiving the killer of your brother

, just enlighten us a little bit more.

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What led to that?

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Oh, well, I was in prison.

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I was getting out two weeks later and

you know, when you go on a journey, see

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if you can just keep being a knucklehead

or you can get to catch yourself.

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But I've always been a cat that

was curious about books and getting

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around people that were knowledgeable.

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I always hunt around the older crowd,

even though I was street, straight street.

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Um, this is one of those times.

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It's like, man, I gotta

get my head together, man.

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And I was getting out two weeks later.

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I remember I was getting out February

28th and my brother was murdered

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February 12th and it happened.

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And this is when I was like coming

deep out of the game, you know, things

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were changing in my life, um, for

a point because I went back, but.

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At that moment in my life, God had

been speaking to me like I just didn't

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want to be in the streets no more.

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I was like, I want to be a grown man.

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I want to do grown man things.

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And once I get, I got that news

February 12th, they called me,

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um, to the office that night.

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You know, usually they wait, they

don't tell you nothing because

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they don't want no riots to

take place and nobody go crazy.

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So they'll wait till everybody

go to sleep or whatever.

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But this particular day, it was early.

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Time and they called me down and said,

um, that my brother was murdered, you

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know, uh, at a, at a local, at a bar.

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And there was over a girl, the other

guy, girl liked it, my brother.

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And it was, it was crazy.

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It was just, it made me so mad, but

once I, uh, but I just stayed positive.

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Did I want to kill dude?

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Did I want to go back to the old life?

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Absolutely.

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But it was like, God had his

hands on me and, um, I got out.

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Then they, I think they finally found

him weeks later and, um, probably a

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month, a couple of months out after I

got, I don't know, in Tennessee, brought

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him back and he was, uh, facing trial.

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Wow.

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That happened pretty quick.

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You know, a lot of times they don't

find the person so now did you know him?

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No, I, most of his family though,

everybody was like, yeah, I was pretty

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known in the streets, even to this day.

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And, um, I walked in, our family

sitting on this side, and they

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family sitting on this side.

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And there was, uh, it was like, it was

a few cats like, Oh, what's up, babes?

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I was like, hey, what's up, man?

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And it was crazy.

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They didn't even know how to feel.

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And, and I, you know, I sat on the side

with my family, and we went from there.

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And, um, just remember my family going up.

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And everybody was like, you need to, I

hope you suffer, you know, stuff like

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that, but I, I didn't feel none of that.

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I was, I was.

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I didn't, I couldn't

even explain the feeling.

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God had me at peace.

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He already told me what to say.

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And, um, I knew I had to be

opposite of what was being said.

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And so when I got on the stand, I talked

about my brother and how much I love them.

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And you know, a little stuff when

we was kids, cause I watched all of

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them, you know, I'm the oldest out

of five boys and one girl, um, I told

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them, I said, man, I miss my brother.

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Then at one point I just looked at him.

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I said, man, look, I forgive you, man.

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And I was like, why are you in there?

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I was like, you know,

getting your word, man.

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I said, get in your word.

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I was like, cause Christ

is your only hope.

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And I said, he gonna, he is peace, man.

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Cause you're going to need a man.

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And I was like, God bless you, brother.

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And that was it.

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I walked off court and people

were stopping me and like, man,

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like the lawyer, that was, it

was a lawyer sitting in there.

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She was like, I never heard

nobody, you know, do that.

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And you can feel the power of forgiveness.

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In the room, it wasn't just forgiveness,

but it was the power of interesting , I

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like what you said about, it's a power

in the room was filled with it and God

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was working on you and you couldn't have

done that in my estimation by yourself.

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Is that correct?

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That is correct.

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So you said God was doing,

a work on you, right?

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Yeah.

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I've noticed because of going

through forgiveness myself, that

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this work that he's doing inside.

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Is.

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Where he shows you yourself.

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The work he's doing is where

he's showing you your real self.

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And where you.

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Actually our.

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In life in a lot of times

because of what's going on,

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the speed of what's going on.

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You never really sit down.

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And get a chance to

really look at yourself.

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And you can't.

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Really look at yourself, how you

need to, unless you have help.

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For instance, to look at

yourself, you need a mirror.

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And when God is working on you

at this point, He is showing.

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The inside of you.

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That's part of the work that he's doing.

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In that's needed when

you're going through.

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This process of forgiveness.

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Where he has to help you.

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So You tell him getting your word while

you in there is something you had to do or

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you were doing that prepared you for this.

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So it's a place you have been yourself.

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So you kind of saw

yourself in that person.

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A lot of us think that when we're better

than other people at times and we forget.

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So God has a way of bringing

us back to our senses.

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, so to speak, , and getting us in that

place and where we can see ourselves and,

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, I see your, I know this is a podcast

and people can't see right now and it's

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a powerful moment right now for you.

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Uh, you're reflecting on

that in the power of guys.

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So looking at your

character from before and.

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What you did then was

is totally different.

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It was not the same person.

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Yeah, people like people used to be my

mom's, you know, it hurted my heart.

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Once I got saved, you know, you

know, I accepted Christ in my

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life and I have to both feet in.

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I had a my mind was made up.

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It was I was done and I made my mind

up and man, it transformed my heart.

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I made up mine is powerful and I was done.

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But I but You know, making

up your mind, um, got me into

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relationships that were broken.

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Got me back into relationships

that were broken.

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And it was my mother, you

know, I was the oldest.

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So she would tell me secrets and

stuff when we was little, you

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know, in abusive relationships.

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So I knew how to get out the

house and all that type of stuff.

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Like who to call and stuff, but

all that stopped in my old life.

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But now when I got.

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Back into relationship with my mom's,

you know, until my once I got my life

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right with Christ, my mom started

opening it back up again to me because

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they're all less taken from me.

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So we share things.

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And one day we were sitting in our

house one day and I guess the old

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picture came up and she was like, yeah.

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And then all my guys,

everybody said the same thing.

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They was like, man, they was like, man,

cast was scared when you came around, man.

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It was like, and my mama opened

up her mouth and said, me too.

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She was like, I should

be scared of you, man.

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That broke my heart, man.

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I was like, I didn't even know.

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Cause I used to snap, you

know, I used to go crazy, man.

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You know, not meeting my real father.

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Everybody else had an opportunity for

that in my family, but I was really hurt

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over the years and never met my real

father and I should take it out on my

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mom's, you know, we throw dope together.

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Uh, just, she was a young mother.

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She was 21 with six kids.

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I had to think back.

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I was like, wow.

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I said 21 with six kids and I

actually when she was saying she

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was like, no, I love my kids.

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But what I'm saying is that she

opened up and when she said that

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to me, it broke my heart, man.

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She said she was scared of me.

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And I, I seen that times,

you know, I saw it.

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I never put my hands on my mother, but

the way I would, you know, flex up.

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Like, cause I ain't no little guy,

the way I would flex up and, and the

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whole house would clear or wherever

I was, people would just clear

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out cause I had this anger, man.

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And when she said that,

that broke my heart.

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And that was afterwards, right?

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No, this was before, like,

before I got saved, like.

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Okay.

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Yeah, so when I got saved,

she opened back up to me.

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You know, when you, when you cussing your

mother out, being crazy, acting crazy

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and all that, your parents shut down on

you, you know, they, they start revealing

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things that they have for you, you

know, and um, All that shut down on me.

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And so now that I'm saying my mother, we

talk, it's just like, I'm a kid again.

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She opened up by, she tells me if she

had just called me, like, guess what?

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You know, that, that Avenue has been

opened up, but when you disrespectful to

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your parents, which is an authoritative

level, them doors close on you.

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So a lot of kids out here are

missing out on value, value, valuable

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conversations because of the disrespect.

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And I want to, , just actually

refer that back to forgiveness

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and it's, , reconciliation,

, reconciling those relationships.

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And like you just said, if you don't have

that forgiveness, there's no opening,

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there's no intimate conversations.

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And you I believe you were having

those intimate conversations

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while you were in prison with God.

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And to be able to forgive, you

have to not just know about God.

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You have to know God and have

those intimate conversations.

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And, um, so many of us miss that because

I've seen where he's more apt to listen

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to us than we are to talk to him.

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And being who he is.

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, that's a great opportunity.

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And It's valuable.

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He's the creator of the universe and

he's opening up opportunities for us to

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have these conversations with him and.

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And that was, that was a significant thing

you did and it showed that, that there

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was things going on that you were , in

the business of renewing your mind.

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Yeah.

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Because I was looking into this lately

about transforming and renewing your mind.

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You have to be.

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First transform before you

can even renew your mind.

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So now you're doing this and renewing

your mind was part of Lee, how

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you were able to forgive exactly.

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And then it was so powerful.

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I believe it's, it's, it's.

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It's still having an impact just like

now our, our conversation now, and

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I'm pretty sure everybody that was

in that courtroom was impacted by it

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because you don't see that every day.

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So they're still being impacted by it.

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I'm pretty sure they told

somebody and what you did was.

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Very, um, that was, it was God in

that room and you were being used

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in, , the conversations you had

after that and how, what you're

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saying now with your, your mom, you

were able to, reconcile with her.

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My belief is you first need

to reconcile with God first

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before all other relationships.

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I think that my forgiveness that

God put on my life to help me when

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it came to forgiving others when

I when I knew that I was forgiven.

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I knew that out in the book, but

it was one time like with my mom's.

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Two sections.

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It's like when my mom's, I was

graduating from, uh, adult and teen

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challenges, a ministry program.

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And I was graduating, she

came and my two children came.

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I wasn't married at the time.

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And, um, she's getting my life

together, but, but my mind was made up.

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And I remember grabbing the mic

and they told me, and it's like 200

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people in the room, they said, Hey.

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They said, um, uh, Robert, just,

you know, give you a testimony.

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Like that's all cool.

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I grabbed a mic instantly.

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I knew the Holy spirit was

like, apologize to your mother.

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And we have been kicking it.

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I've been saying it like, mom,

forgive me, you know, for the way

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I used to talk to you and all that.

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But this day it was like, Authentic.

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And I said she was sitting

in the back of the room.

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It's like 200 people, man.

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She's sitting in the back

with my two children.

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And I said, man, before I say my

testimony, I just want to say,

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I said, I'm going to tell my

mother, mom, please forgive me.

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And I could barely breathe.

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Like, I was like, mom, please

forgive me for the way I treated you.

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I said, you didn't deserve none of

that, you know, because I'm honored

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that your father and mother don't come

with stipulations because some people

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think because your mom on drugs or

your mom or your dad or you got to

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write, uh, don't come with stipulation.

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And, uh, I was like,

mom, please forgive me.

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And, uh, and I'll never forget.

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I just, and it was quiet and people, the

power of forgiveness came in the room.

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They understood the power of it because

I was from the back of the room.

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She said, I forgive you, Robert,

like that, man, the whole place.

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erupted, praising God, crying.

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People was just crying all over.

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It was the power of forgiveness.

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Um, and she forgave me.

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And, um, but another time, um,

the forgive, no, just helping me.

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I started to understand

forgiveness as I went along.

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And you know, it was a, it was somebody,

it was people that have done things to me

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in my life that I couldn't forgive, man.

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And I was like, God, how

do you forgive somebody?

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I was like, cause they keep coming

up, you know, the person's face

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keep coming up the next day.

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And God told me one day, literally,

he said, listen, Forgiveness

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don't come with feelings.

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Oh man.

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Mic drop.

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Just told me straight out.

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It was a Ephesians 4 32.

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It talks about forgiveness, but

it also has all the feelings

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that you have in the beginning.

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And it said, you know, show

people kindness and, um, it

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says, show people kindness.

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Here it is right here.

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It says, uh, and be kind to

one another, tender heart,

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just as God in Christ.

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forgave you.

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And so you look at the top part

of saying, be kind to one another

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and be tenderhearted and seek.

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And when you don't forgive, it

takes that from your heart, the

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kindness and being tenderhearted.

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You, when you don't forgive, it's trying

to show you what your heart experiences

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outside of forgiveness, the first part.

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And it said, just know, be kind and

tenderhearted to one another, just

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as God in Christ Jesus forgave you.

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And so I took that verse.

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And I'm telling you, I forgave,

because I not only hurt people, you'll

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see in the book, but it was people.

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And I, it was times I couldn't

sleep like for, for what people did.

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And I took this verse and I said,

Lord, I forgive this person just

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like you forgave me in Christ Jesus.

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And I said, I forgive.

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And it didn't come with feelings.

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And the next day, the same feeling come,

I had the same feeling about the person.

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And I'm telling you, and, and

what God taught me in that moment,

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:

he said, just say forgiven.

377

:

And I was like, because what me

and you did was real because at

378

:

that moment, it was actually real.

379

:

What I went through, what I, the

forgiveness I did, but the next day it

380

:

comes up, it don't feel like you did it.

381

:

You didn't do it right.

382

:

You like, no, God told

me like you did it right.

383

:

And so soon as that person probably your

mind at the devil, because the devil keep

384

:

bringing it up, you say, forgive him.

385

:

And then you might feel this way, but.

386

:

You speak this way, you respond

this way outside of feelings.

387

:

And man, I'm telling you, it's people

that I have literally , forgave

388

:

people and the wound got so it's

no longer open anymore in my life.

389

:

It's um, it's closed up, it healed and

it got stitches and it's just a scar now.

390

:

And, um, it's a testimony for

me because, and that's what I,

391

:

that's, I just want everybody to

understand feelings don't come.

392

:

But I mean, forgiveness don't come by

feelings, but it comes by, um, with you,

393

:

your trust, uh, forgiveness through the

word of God, because he forgave you.

394

:

I like how you, you put that in.

395

:

Yes.

396

:

That's definitely was a mic drop

to say forgiveness doesn't come

397

:

with feelings because It's a,

that too is a process, I believe.

398

:

And with you, I like how you said,

because it was original at first, and

399

:

it may not feel original because you're

thinking the feelings should align with

400

:

it already when it doesn't at that time.

401

:

It's going to take, it's still going

through the healing process, but I also

402

:

like what you said about that verse,

be kind and tender hearted because the

403

:

opposite of it is unkind and hard hearted.

404

:

Bitterness, bitterness, anger.

405

:

What do we see so much of today?

406

:

Yeah.

407

:

And anger.

408

:

And, , some people don't

even realize they are angry.

409

:

And, but we still, we see the

tell a tale signs a lot of there

410

:

they're scowled all up snap quick.

411

:

, like you were saying, , how

you were reacting to things.

412

:

And that's just how it is when a

person is angry and haven't had

413

:

that experience of forgiveness yet.

414

:

So that's that power, because we need

that power of forgiveness to actually

415

:

help us with the anger and help people.

416

:

Everybody needs this because

it is so much anger out here.

417

:

There's real rage.

418

:

This people want, anything to step on

their toe and they're ready to kill them.

419

:

And then it's, and it can

send you off to prison.

420

:

It can end your life.

421

:

Um, just the description of, you

know, some of those altercations and

422

:

like we all have, , had, or, , what

happened with your brother, but the

423

:

night before he was killed, I mean,

when he was killed, I should say,

424

:

um, if you were not angry, if you had

stuff under control, that could make a

425

:

big difference is it's life or death.

426

:

And when we see the power of

forgiveness and God saved us, right.

427

:

And We see actually repeated in

front of us in our day to day lives.

428

:

We can be saving people saving ourselves,

through allowing God to help us with that.

429

:

So I like how you coupled that

because most people thinking that

430

:

they need to do it by themselves.

431

:

Their feelings should be

aligned with it right now.

432

:

And.

433

:

I, I like how you just debunk that that's

not true and you are a real life case

434

:

of losing a loved one still missing and

showing how the power of forgiveness can

435

:

work on that and how it changed your life.

436

:

And then you talked about.

437

:

Forgiving your mom too.

438

:

And we have another instance of blowing

up the room, like we, who, again, you

439

:

affected a lot of people and I'm not

sure if they knew what they were looking

440

:

at, but forgiveness is what we need.

441

:

That's why I named this show,

a prisoner's pardon, because

442

:

we're looking for answer for.

443

:

Recidivism and most people wouldn't

think about forgiveness or just a pardon

444

:

and I just want to coincide the two.

445

:

That is still accountability.

446

:

The young man who killed your brother

still went to jail, still had an

447

:

account, but that doesn't negate

forgiveness because some people may

448

:

think, I know you've probably seen it.

449

:

Oh, I thought you forgave me.

450

:

And they're thinking that

there's no consequences with it.

451

:

If you forgive somebody, Oh, all

the consequences are wiped away.

452

:

What do you think about that?

453

:

I understand.

454

:

That's like, like even God, when

he forgive you, he forgive you your

455

:

sins, but people may not forgive you.

456

:

You get what I'm saying?

457

:

I look at that.

458

:

I thought that once I gave my life to

Christ, that people will forgive me.

459

:

It's still people working on forgiving

me now because I was so, you know,

460

:

It's people that still see me and

they cautious and like they, you

461

:

know, you could tell, um, that

just because you've been forgiven.

462

:

That don't mean everybody forgive

you, you know, um, by the cross.

463

:

I thought that for a while, but

you still got, sometimes you still

464

:

got consequences, you know, um,

sometimes you just be wiped clean.

465

:

It's a lot of people that have

been, you know, the power of

466

:

price ain't nothing to play with.

467

:

It'll wipe you clean.

468

:

It'll wipe clean.

469

:

It'll wipe like everything clean.

470

:

But some people.

471

:

You know, God still, you

don't know how he, he moves.

472

:

Sometimes he is still, you'll be forgiven

by him, but sometimes you still got

473

:

to, you know, pay the consequences.

474

:

Um, cause, uh, even when I, when I did

stuff when I was younger, I remember.

475

:

I did that robbery when I was

younger, but I got a chance to

476

:

ask their family for forgiveness.

477

:

You know, you like you talk

that last sentence and day,

478

:

but I still had to go to jail.

479

:

It was like, I still

had, um, my time to do.

480

:

So I totally understand that.

481

:

So what do you think about

when people say, well, not when

482

:

people say, but when the Bible

says, , the truth was set you free.

483

:

How would you.

484

:

How would you align that with forgiveness?

485

:

The truth will set you free.

486

:

Yeah, it's, um, I think that's personal.

487

:

Mm hmm.

488

:

I think that's your heart, you know,

your, um, your sin condition, you know?

489

:

Mm hmm.

490

:

I think that's more what it's

talking about, your heart, your heart

491

:

issues, your sin, your sin condition.

492

:

It'll set you free.

493

:

Um, but does life continue?

494

:

Yeah, it's still gonna be

death and the family, you know?

495

:

You still gonna get like, like I gotta

say, my, my daughter was running away

496

:

from, she was 14 to, and I'm deep in

the ministry after she was running

497

:

away from 14, she was 18 years old.

498

:

You know, life don't stop.

499

:

It has set you free,

500

:

but, but just life don't stop, but

you have a piece God to give you.

501

:

It's just like a special piece that

you have that the world don't give.

502

:

You know, the truth of sexuality is this.

503

:

It's true.

504

:

It's like, even when I lost my

grandmother, I didn't go crazy.

505

:

It was just like, it was, it was keeping

me, you know, grew up with my grandma

506

:

stayed in my grandma's house off and on.

507

:

It was just a piece.

508

:

Um, along with my heart.

509

:

I like that.

510

:

, and also I was thinking too, though,

when I'm talking about the truth of

511

:

set you free, because that power of

forgiveness is setting you free as well.

512

:

And it's, um, it's giving you that peace.

513

:

So part of forgiveness is being,

I believe, truthful, honest, and

514

:

looking at things the way they are.

515

:

And that's how I believe it does

to coincide with how the truth is.

516

:

And you're just not lying to yourself

about just seeing yourself for.

517

:

The limitations that we have and

the things that we've done wrong

518

:

and not doubling down on it and

just trying to excuse it because

519

:

I've seen when you double down, you,

you holding on, you holding on to

520

:

things and you can't get that true

forgiveness , having that truth and

521

:

having that forgiveness and that peace.

522

:

And it's, it's a valuable thing.

523

:

Peace is.

524

:

Everybody should know who's listening

how precious pieces is, you know,

525

:

and God does says is no peace

for the wicked and it is true.

526

:

That's why I said, I think it's personal.

527

:

Yeah.

528

:

A prisoner's.

529

:

Pardon?

530

:

And that it, it's like

unforgiveness is like, you not free.

531

:

You know?

532

:

When you hold unforgiveness it's

like you hear people always say that.

533

:

It's like you drinking

poison and you hope Mm-Hmm.

534

:

hoping other person die.

535

:

It's, it's true.

536

:

You be captive, man.

537

:

And it was like, man, dude,

the change dropped off me once.

538

:

Uh, when you read the book, you know,

people read the book How I was forgiving.

539

:

And I was forgiving other people.

540

:

You know, I was just, I was

just running around like, man,

541

:

would you please forgive me?

542

:

If you, when you read the book, you're

like, I want you, I was going to my

543

:

uncle's aunties, friend girls that

I used to date and stuff like that.

544

:

Cause I wasn't in my right mind.

545

:

I was like, would you please,

and I was actually hurting.

546

:

And, um, that's just what it was.

547

:

It was just a life of, please forgive me.

548

:

After he forgave me and I seen people

and I seen how I was destructive, man.

549

:

I heard a lot of people.

550

:

I heard a lot of people and, um, but

everybody I met, they, they, they

551

:

forgave me and it was a bless at the

moment and it was the power of it.

552

:

You know, I think that it's not

just forgiving somebody, but it's,

553

:

it's the power of forgiveness

that the cross, I think.

554

:

That's the difference between when we

forgive as Christ followers, when we be

555

:

obedient to forgiveness, when God calls

us to, we experienced the power of the

556

:

cross, the forgiveness of the cross.

557

:

And look how powerful it was, man.

558

:

The blood will be died, will

be dead and gone and the blood

559

:

will never lose its power.

560

:

It will still be forgiven.

561

:

So we deal with that.

562

:

When we obedient, God call us to say, Hey,

forgive this person, or you better do it.

563

:

Free and set the other person free

because that's what that's what it does.

564

:

It sets you free and another person free.

565

:

I like how You were saying

here about you were hurting.

566

:

, what do you mean you were hurting?

567

:

How were you, you were talking about

when I was going to the people?

568

:

Yeah.

569

:

You said you were hurting.

570

:

I was very violent.

571

:

I was a very violent person, you know,

and, and by being the oldest and stuff

572

:

like that, I just felt obligated.

573

:

It was like, it was times I wanted out

the game, but I bought the equipment.

574

:

The gang life home GDs, you

know, I brought it home.

575

:

We was lynched mob renegades.

576

:

So I feel, I felt bad, uh, over

the years cause I brought it home

577

:

and I lost a brother to a murder.

578

:

I lost cousins to a murder, all

that type of, I just felt bad.

579

:

So when I was asking for forgiveness,

I was hurting, man, but and God

580

:

allowed me to feel, um, uh, the pain,

you know, of, of when you hurt people

581

:

and you, and you wanted forgiveness.

582

:

I can't explain it.

583

:

It was just, I just felt just

like, man, please forgive.

584

:

I remember I was in a family dollar.

585

:

It's a long story.

586

:

I couldn't find a job.

587

:

And I was, and my sister in law

come up here where I said, man, I

588

:

ain't working in no family dollar.

589

:

Man, God was like, go.

590

:

Cause that would turn into my ministry.

591

:

He didn't know.

592

:

I remember one of my

guys walked up in there.

593

:

This guy, I used to always

like bully like, I was, we was

594

:

cool, but I used to bully him.

595

:

And, and, uh, he walked in there one

day and I saw me and I walked up to him.

596

:

I said, Hey, Hey, what's up, man?

597

:

He's like, what's up base.

598

:

And I know he remembered, you

know, and I, and I looked at him.

599

:

And I say, man, what you, I said,

look, I said, you know, the way

600

:

I used to treat you was wrong.

601

:

And man, I just started

weeping right in front of him.

602

:

I said, please forgive me, man.

603

:

I said, I wasn't in my right mind.

604

:

I said, but I accepted

Christ in my life, dude.

605

:

I was like, man, I said,

I'm doing much man.

606

:

That brother looked at me.

607

:

And he was like, I forgive

you, but I said, no, no, no.

608

:

Listen, I need you to forgive

me for the way I treated you.

609

:

And that there was the power of Christ.

610

:

It wasn't just forgiven.

611

:

It was the power of forgiveness

in that, in the, in the aisle,

612

:

you know, and that brother hugged

me and you could just feel it.

613

:

I just felt the Holy

spirit all on both of us.

614

:

Cause he knew that it was authentic, you

know, cause I used to treat him wrong.

615

:

And I, and he told me, forgive me, man.

616

:

I hugged him.

617

:

I got his number to this day, you know.

618

:

I appreciate that because I, I

want this to come out , talking

619

:

about the emotions of it too.

620

:

And what, what people should be seeing

if they truly forgive someone is

621

:

like, it wasn't what, like you say,

fake, , I wasn't like, Oh, forgive me.

622

:

And all that.

623

:

And then, you know, that's not,

True forgiveness, what we're saying

624

:

here, and what you actually just

put into words, you feel the pain.

625

:

Now of what you've done, you see the

person now and you feel pain about it

626

:

and you say what you did because, and

you were hurting, you said you had

627

:

bust out, you know, crying and stuff.

628

:

It is nothing wrong with that because

it's showing that it was authentic

629

:

because it was, it was painful.

630

:

You now feel pain.

631

:

Something where before you

were desensitized, I would

632

:

say you were hard hearted.

633

:

Now you're tender hearted, tender hearted

people when other people are hurt.

634

:

Yes.

635

:

So this is like audience.

636

:

This is a red flag here.

637

:

If you're not hurting and feeling

painful for what you've done,

638

:

I think you should rethink.

639

:

Look at this again, because

something is not right because

640

:

you should be tender hearted.

641

:

Tenderhearted people hurt.

642

:

They don't, they can't just

do something, , because.

643

:

It hurts them to do

something that's wrong.

644

:

Um, so that's a big red flag that if

you don't feel anything, it's nothing

645

:

like what's what's wrong with it.

646

:

You know, like we become so desensitized

with this television and social

647

:

media and in not understanding the.

648

:

What's the, I would say transformation

that's going on inside of you, like

649

:

you transformed into what Christ

made you to be, which is to be

650

:

tenderhearted, forgiving and kind.

651

:

That means you're not walking around all

exposed and you're going to get hurt every

652

:

time somebody say something wrong to you.

653

:

And now it's funny, we'll say

tenderhearted, but on the outside

654

:

of it, it's like you kind of,

you think more thick skin.

655

:

You're not as sensitive.

656

:

As you were the wrong way, but

you're sensitive in the right way.

657

:

So, and then I like how you describe how

the power again is, I cannot negate this.

658

:

It is forgiveness.

659

:

True forgiveness is very powerful.

660

:

It changes people on the inside.

661

:

It, it changes.

662

:

When I say change people, it changes

the heart, the heart, the heart.

663

:

You become compassion.

664

:

I think like he can feel like that.

665

:

That's why Jesus was so compassionate.

666

:

He could feel, you know, and that's,

that's what, that's what it's all about.

667

:

I can feel again.

668

:

That's what happened to me.

669

:

When I see him in that, that aisle

like that, I feel compassion.

670

:

And I was just like, man, I just felt so

much compassion for him, but not just him.

671

:

It was a lot of people, man, that I

remember my uncle down there, man.

672

:

I used to, me and him got into it all the

time, but you know, I was more aggressive.

673

:

And, um, when I got, I'm telling you.

674

:

When I got saved, I seen

him at my mom's house, man.

675

:

I said, can I talk to y'all, man?

676

:

Christ was all on me, man.

677

:

Back.

678

:

I said, Hey, listen, I said, I love y'all.

679

:

He said, I love you too, man.

680

:

I love you too.

681

:

And, um, I said, but man, I said,

look, please forgive me for the way

682

:

I was treated and I was like, and I

could see how I treated him in my mind.

683

:

You know, I can feel it.

684

:

And I was like, man, I could feel it.

685

:

And I was just like, and I

just started to weep, man.

686

:

And it wasn't showing that I was

no punk or nothing like that.

687

:

It was just showing

like, I could feel again.

688

:

And I was like, I'm sorry.

689

:

And he was like, I forgive you, man.

690

:

And man, the way we

hugged, it was the power.

691

:

It was the power.

692

:

See, forgiveness got power to, and

so it'll change your heart, man.

693

:

I'm telling you.

694

:

And the way people, the way you see

things and the way people see you,

695

:

because it forgiveness not only affects

you, but it affects every person.

696

:

Oh yeah.

697

:

I like how, again, you.

698

:

You, you described it perfectly

and how the whole room

699

:

changes and yeah, I was there.

700

:

So I was there myself before and, you

know, growing up in tough neighborhoods.

701

:

Right, Pastor.

702

:

It can be, you feel you gotta be tough.

703

:

And it's just, well, you're

going to get ate up and that's

704

:

just, that was a survival.

705

:

It was about survival, but, , I

know God showed me another way and

706

:

I'm sure he, like he showed you,

you don't have to lose your heart.

707

:

You don't have to lose, um, That's

sensitive nature in because God

708

:

actually fights your battles for you.

709

:

I didn't realize that either.

710

:

So, and because , we're not built to

fight those type of battles and stuff.

711

:

We do fight battles, but he,

he actually does the work for

712

:

us and we just follow orders.

713

:

I should say, and then we're still intact.

714

:

We were able to.

715

:

, still be around people be kind hearted and

tender, but also hold people accountable

716

:

as well and have that good balance

where you don't lose sight of things.

717

:

So, and again, this, this, I

cannot again, just tell you how.

718

:

powerful, how much we need forgiveness,

true forgiveness, and but where

719

:

we don't see it around, you know,

they always saying, be kind.

720

:

I don't know if you've

been hearing that lately.

721

:

Yeah, yeah.

722

:

You hear those words.

723

:

Yeah.

724

:

Then it's like, they don't

tell you how to be kind.

725

:

How do you just be kind?

726

:

Yeah.

727

:

And then he's like, okay, I'm gonna try

to be kind when you was trying to be kind.

728

:

Did you, were you able to do it?

729

:

No.

730

:

Good.

731

:

Be good.

732

:

All that type of, I think, I think.

733

:

I think I really think

that you should like Peter.

734

:

They was like, how many

times you said 70 times 7.

735

:

The reason why Jesus said that

about forgiveness, when you

736

:

forgive somebody said 70 times 7.

737

:

He's like, man, what?

738

:

They ask for more faith.

739

:

The reason why is because

Santa's in the world, you know.

740

:

This world.

741

:

And so sin needs to be forgiven.

742

:

And so that, that is very important.

743

:

So even in my marriage, like the,

the key words is always to my

744

:

wife, forgive me, I was wrong.

745

:

And this is not all the time, but

it's, it's just saying, forgive me.

746

:

I was wrong because you ain't going

to always get it right in relation.

747

:

So them, them, the key

words and forgive me.

748

:

And then the other person

should be in place.

749

:

For forgiveness, because it's

not something you all you all the

750

:

time doing like hurting or say

something wrong or I said something

751

:

too loud or something like that.

752

:

So I always be like, hey,

I stopped myself instantly.

753

:

So the power of Christ, you

keep flowing in my life.

754

:

Because unforgiveness, it stops it.

755

:

So I, I'll be like, Hey

sweetheart, I apologize.

756

:

I was a little too loud with that.

757

:

And she, my wife would look at her

and she'd be like, forgive like that.

758

:

And we get right back to, you know,

letting Christ flow in our lives.

759

:

Because unforgiveness, it, it, it, it

stops the flow of Christ in your life.

760

:

It goes back to what you were

saying, like with your mom.

761

:

You lose that intimacy, that opening

that you have, and you lose it with,

762

:

it's not even, I think, you know, some

people think you can compartmentalize

763

:

it, you know, you'll put it in a

certain section and it won't flow

764

:

into other relationships, but.

765

:

We're just not made that way.

766

:

Look at our blood.

767

:

Look how our blood flows through us.

768

:

You can't just keep it

in your your hand part.

769

:

You can't just keep it in one body part

that forgiveness unforgiveness flows

770

:

into every relationship everything you

do and most effective most importantly,

771

:

I should say you lose that intimacy

with Christ because he God is not one

772

:

to overlook stuff, he's gonna, he's

gonna bring it up, call it out, and

773

:

you're gonna be under this conviction,

and once you're under that conviction,

774

:

that's when you feel that hurt.

775

:

And you, and you're actually

seeing people and what they're

776

:

doing, what you've done to them.

777

:

And you see yourself as well.

778

:

I'm talking from experience as well.

779

:

You see your own sins and you'd

be like, I need forgiveness.

780

:

And so we, it's, it's actually, it has

to be, it's not just a one time thing.

781

:

So, and that's, I'm glad you brought up.

782

:

That how many times he

said seven times tonight.

783

:

They had some more faith than it

was like, Lord, give us more faith.

784

:

It's actually like real.

785

:

You, you have to forgive

as Christ forgave you.

786

:

So, because, because even Jesus, he was

like, Lord, take this, this bitter cup.

787

:

It was a bit, it was, that cup was bitter

because that unforgiveness is, it was

788

:

a bitter cup and he had to take on it.

789

:

He had to take on our sins because we were

unforgiving and, and, but by his blood,

790

:

we're forgiving, but the cup itself.

791

:

And it was unforgiveness, man.

792

:

We, we, we had Christ paid our debt, man.

793

:

So that cup that, what he went through,

he suffered, his soul suffered.

794

:

And so all that has to

do with unforgiveness.

795

:

Um, your soul suffers and that's your

mind, your emotions and your own will.

796

:

You'll even make bad decisions through

unforgiveness, just resting in your

797

:

bones and in your heart like that.

798

:

You'll, you'll be able

to take you off course.

799

:

And, but that's, so that's why.

800

:

Forgiveness is so important and

otherwise, if you don't have this

801

:

forgiveness, you have this anger.

802

:

If you have this anger, I mean,

this is most of your story, right?

803

:

That's most of.

804

:

Everybody's story, I would think I

would, imagine that if someone's

805

:

going in and out and of jail, or

they're constantly just in trouble and

806

:

stuff, it's usually an anger issue.

807

:

And I'm and we see it every day.

808

:

Just look at these people look at people.

809

:

They're angry.

810

:

And some of the stuff is like over

this, why are you angry for, but it's,

811

:

it's not because of that one incident.

812

:

It's something that's been building

other stuff and it's, you have to deal

813

:

with this is or it's what it's going

to escalate and it's not, can you

814

:

talk, I like how you brought up too,

is that when you forgive other people.

815

:

It necessarily doesn't happen where

the other person forgives you,

816

:

but do you still have this piece?

817

:

Yeah.

818

:

Okay.

819

:

Because you was obedient

to what God told you.

820

:

Well, that's, that's the, it's

about just being obedient.

821

:

It don't say that God didn't tell you

that the other person would change.

822

:

He just told you to, you

just have to do your part.

823

:

And sometimes people don't.

824

:

That the other hand don't receive, but

you did your part and that that's it.

825

:

That that's the key behind it.

826

:

It's just you, you doing God's will.

827

:

It's just like when Christ came,

he, he, he was sent for everybody,

828

:

but he was, he was rejected.

829

:

He came for the Jews,

but they rejected him.

830

:

He did his part.

831

:

He, he did his part.

832

:

The blood was still for

them as well, you know?

833

:

And so he did his part and, and we

have to just do our parts in life.

834

:

And sometimes the other

person won't respond.

835

:

And you wish they do, but now

you got to just move along.

836

:

Now, did you have any

problem forgiving yourself?

837

:

Oh, absolutely.

838

:

For you, man, for years, for years.

839

:

Man, I was I think that's

what the problem was.

840

:

And you know what?

841

:

Other people forgave me at

times and I may forgive myself.

842

:

It was a few people that

forgave me and I forgive myself.

843

:

And I was like, man, you

got to let that go, man.

844

:

You know, you'd be like

it works that way as well.

845

:

But I had, I had a huge

problem with forgiving myself.

846

:

And, uh, when I had been forgiven,

even with God, like, like, how could

847

:

he forgive me for all the stuff I did?

848

:

I can't even talk about it.

849

:

I'd be in prison, but I was

like, how could he forgive me?

850

:

And so, you know, the devil always

try to manipulate unforgiveness,

851

:

you know, or forgiveness rather.

852

:

He, he always tried to

manipulate forgiveness.

853

:

That comes from Christ, um, like,

no, you ain't worthy and all

854

:

that, but, but he found me worthy.

855

:

And so that is what it is.

856

:

And I stand on that today.

857

:

And I think, do you think this was part

of when you, my mind is made up, you

858

:

were saying when you finally got your

mind made up, were you at that point too?

859

:

Getting past forgiving yourself

and being able to forgive

860

:

yourself and just do the work.

861

:

What was going on there?

862

:

Yeah, I was ready.

863

:

Once my mind was made up,

I was ready for anything.

864

:

That's just what it was.

865

:

It was like, I was, I

was like, I knew my mind.

866

:

It was something

different that took place.

867

:

Cause usually when I got, when I was like,

I was going to do something, I had my foot

868

:

one in the world and one in the church,

one in the program and one in the world.

869

:

And sometimes I had both feet in,

but I still entertain those thoughts

870

:

that weren't, weren't right.

871

:

And I would let you know,

I, I would you, whatever you

872

:

entertain becomes your reality.

873

:

So sometimes I kind of entertain You

know, smoking cigarettes again, I get

874

:

out, go have sex, all that type of stuff.

875

:

Entertain the morning and he said,

just overtake me as it would anybody

876

:

and you know, and I'd like to

point that out to people because

877

:

I see so many times that we, we.

878

:

We forget that we can't do nothing

without Christ and how powerful

879

:

sin is, but forgiveness is

powerful, more powerful than sin.

880

:

And when we start forgiving

people, we can start today

881

:

forgiving yourself, having that intimate

relationship with God, having him forgive.

882

:

You, did you ask him

for forgiveness as well?

883

:

How did that go?

884

:

I see what a made up mind, just

reading the scriptures, Jesus, his

885

:

life showed us that we struggled, you

know, cause we got to give up some

886

:

things and he had to give up his life.

887

:

And at one point at three times, he

said, father, take this cup away from me.

888

:

But right after that, he said, not

my will, but your will be done.

889

:

So it was, I was trapped between both.

890

:

He was showing us Our life because he had

on the body put on a body and he showed

891

:

us our struggle and it's the same way.

892

:

I got to give up this.

893

:

That's why a lot of people say

because it's uh, they got to give up

894

:

some things and it was a struggle.

895

:

But once I, once I made my mind up,

just like Christ, he did, he said,

896

:

not my will, your will be done.

897

:

That was the last part when he did it

3 times and it took him to the cross.

898

:

And see, that's what I told you.

899

:

Um, well, I don't know if I told you or

not, but we had a sidebar, but it was a

900

:

lot of scholars believe that the garden

of Gethsemane was the most powerful

901

:

place, um, because it's the place where

he made up his mind to go to the cross.

902

:

And so.

903

:

It was the same way, a made up mind

to take you where you need to be.

904

:

And so made my mind up and it took

me to the cross and I confessed.

905

:

I was like, that's when I was honest.

906

:

I was like, Lord, I'm a sinner.

907

:

I'm in need of grace.

908

:

And, and I'm telling you, man,

I never, my mind was made up.

909

:

And it was open.

910

:

I promise you, I ain't been back since

I had, I ain't been back since I'm

911

:

talking about, I haven't been back

since, since:

912

:

I haven't been back since

cause I put both feet in him.

913

:

I made my mind.

914

:

I said, Lord, I'm done.

915

:

I said, use me.

916

:

You know, I said, use

me Lord for your glory.

917

:

I was like, ah, I don't

want to go back no more.

918

:

And that was it.

919

:

And the power of forgiveness

came, boom, it hit me.

920

:

And I knew I was free and I wept and wept.

921

:

Man, he just let me know

that I was forgiven, man.

922

:

And it, and it showed cause man, all

type of doors start opening for me, man.

923

:

I was about to go into that because you

said, um, a very important thing when

924

:

everybody thinks you feel like you, um,

given up a lot, but do you gain more?

925

:

Did you gain?

926

:

Oh, that's a, that's a,

that's the deception.

927

:

That is, that's the deception that the.

928

:

Want us to be like, hold on to our

past because ain't nothing there.

929

:

It was nothing there.

930

:

Mm-Hmm.

931

:

. And I was like, you know, the, the, the,

the sex drugs kicking it party, all that.

932

:

It ain't even worth compared to what?

933

:

The, what?

934

:

He opened doors for me, man.

935

:

I, he, the first time, the first,

so when I did that, I went on a

936

:

ministry trip and um, I, we gave

our testimony, I had to give my

937

:

testimony this one church way up north.

938

:

All right, this guy walked up to

me and he described his experience.

939

:

When he first got saved, when God forgave

him of all his sins, he told me, he

940

:

said, when that, when I received Christ

that day, he forgave me of all my sins.

941

:

He said, I ain't felt the Holy

spirit like this in years, young man.

942

:

And he said, he said, um, God told

me to tell you, you need to go back

943

:

to school and I'm gonna pay for it.

944

:

And, um, it was the power of forgiveness

that paid for my first year of school.

945

:

And, and so when I went back to the, to

the treatment center, I came back with

946

:

a check to go back to school because

they knew how much it cost my books and

947

:

all that, and they put it in the safe

and this time, God to put something

948

:

before me so I won't run no more.

949

:

Okay.

950

:

And so all that, I, I was in a program

I had, I was waiting to, uh, get out of

951

:

this just so I can go back to school.

952

:

It was paid for.

953

:

That's what I'm talking about.

954

:

Thank you for, , exposing that lie

and, , feeling like you're going to

955

:

lose so much when actually you're

going to gain right in its way.

956

:

It's priceless.

957

:

And, and right now you're

actually being cheated.

958

:

Right?

959

:

When you think you're, you, when you think

you're doing good and you, you can't just

960

:

give that up and you're not gonna make it.

961

:

You know?

962

:

And I hope someone that's listening

and hear that right now, um, at this

963

:

moment that they feel like they're okay.

964

:

I don't wanna give this

and that up, right?

965

:

We are, we are here to tell you that

trust you, trust you gotta gain way more.

966

:

And once you understand the, the, the

pricelessness of it, you're going to

967

:

be like, man, I've been cheating all

this time and I've been faked out

968

:

and I'm going to tell you that.

969

:

And when I had, like, when I did that,

it was a girl that was kind to me, man.

970

:

I mean, she was there the whole time,

but once I checked into the ministry,

971

:

when God had called me in, I had both

feet in my mind, God told me that she

972

:

couldn't go and it broke my heart.

973

:

And my wife noticed it broke,

but she didn't do, you know,

974

:

she, she, she didn't understand.

975

:

And I was like, but I came into her life

manipulative and God told me it's done.

976

:

We're done with that.

977

:

And, uh, it changed everything.

978

:

And once I, I let, I finally let

that go and cause it took me a while,

979

:

man, cause I couldn't understand it.

980

:

But then when I did do

it, I did it by faith.

981

:

I didn't, I didn't go off my feelings.

982

:

God was like, I need you to do this now.

983

:

It was like an urgent call in my spirit.

984

:

And I just let her know, you

know, and I just stayed away.

985

:

I was like, she couldn't understand it,

but I'm going to tell you I did that.

986

:

I went through the repercussions of that.

987

:

She was calling mad in the center,

you know, doing stuff, saying stuff.

988

:

It was crazy.

989

:

But my wife came after that.

990

:

I promised it.

991

:

Yup.

992

:

Somebody to help me carry the

vision that God called me to.

993

:

Yup.

994

:

Cause when you give, when you separate

yourself, when you, uh, he said,

995

:

he who keeps his life will lose it.

996

:

But he who loses his life for

me, Jesus said, we'll find it.

997

:

And that's what it was.

998

:

And I'm telling you what, the

more you, you, you give up things

999

:

in your life, the things that.

:

00:54:32,141 --> 00:54:35,591

That don't mean you no good man,

or the thing, it can be some good

:

00:54:35,591 --> 00:54:36,711

things sometime in your life.

:

00:54:36,951 --> 00:54:38,641

Don't always think it's the bad things.

:

00:54:38,651 --> 00:54:41,401

A lot of people always think it's

the bad things God coming after.

:

00:54:41,731 --> 00:54:43,911

But it's the good things,

because there was some time I

:

00:54:43,911 --> 00:54:45,321

had to give up a radio station.

:

00:54:45,321 --> 00:54:46,931

I was teaching on a radio station.

:

00:54:46,931 --> 00:54:50,221

I heard God say, clear as

day, that give that up.

:

00:54:50,461 --> 00:54:53,511

And I need you to stop doing this

over here in this ministry part.

:

00:54:53,511 --> 00:54:54,501

And these were good things.

:

00:54:54,861 --> 00:54:58,811

And I gave him up and he

opened a door for me over here.

:

00:54:58,811 --> 00:55:00,171

And I was like, Oh, I see why.

:

00:55:00,691 --> 00:55:04,611

So it's not always bad things

because that's what it can be.

:

00:55:04,611 --> 00:55:07,101

Some, some things that

are beneficial as well.

:

00:55:07,141 --> 00:55:10,571

But when God say, give it up,

give it up because he has a

:

00:55:10,591 --> 00:55:11,841

perfect plan for your life.

:

00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:13,041

It's a perfect plan.

:

00:55:13,361 --> 00:55:14,721

So that means we can't.

:

00:55:15,156 --> 00:55:16,796

Add to it or take away from it.

:

00:55:17,956 --> 00:55:18,916

Well, thank you.

:

00:55:18,936 --> 00:55:19,416

Thank you.

:

00:55:19,446 --> 00:55:20,636

Thank you for this.

:

00:55:20,666 --> 00:55:22,506

Um, we're about to wrap this up.

:

00:55:22,506 --> 00:55:25,556

And thank you for just revealing.

:

00:55:25,846 --> 00:55:27,746

I don't want to call them secret things.

:

00:55:27,836 --> 00:55:31,256

I want to call them things that is hidden.

:

00:55:31,866 --> 00:55:33,786

They're treasures that.

:

00:55:34,836 --> 00:55:40,516

We need to know about when we thinking

about giving up things for God and how,

:

00:55:41,336 --> 00:55:44,016

, forgiveness plays a big part of you.

:

00:55:44,716 --> 00:55:49,826

The biggest part, I believe of you

being able to step away from, , the

:

00:55:49,826 --> 00:55:54,166

lifestyle you had before that sent

you back and forth to prison, had

:

00:55:54,166 --> 00:56:00,156

you under those influences and

had you spiraling down in the fun.

:

00:56:00,226 --> 00:56:05,641

And it's like, I know we You know,

I look at this every day and it's, I

:

00:56:05,641 --> 00:56:11,781

believe it's a spiritual thing when

we hold on to things that we know.

:

00:56:12,836 --> 00:56:13,536

It's no good.

:

00:56:13,536 --> 00:56:17,386

We see where we at and we

still want to hold on to it.

:

00:56:18,016 --> 00:56:22,716

And again, just thank you telling us

how it was for you to separate from

:

00:56:22,716 --> 00:56:27,576

those things and how benefits that

you didn't have before started coming

:

00:56:27,876 --> 00:56:30,216

and how your wife came after that.

:

00:56:30,246 --> 00:56:32,406

It's like you have to get

through this test in time.

:

00:56:32,706 --> 00:56:36,726

I'm pretty sure going back to

what you say, it don't feel good.

:

00:56:37,101 --> 00:56:39,531

Oh, your feelings don't

usually be there yet.

:

00:56:40,281 --> 00:56:41,216

It's faith.

:

00:56:41,216 --> 00:56:43,561

This is faith, not feelings.

:

00:56:43,701 --> 00:56:44,231

Okay.

:

00:56:45,791 --> 00:56:46,161

Okay.

:

00:56:46,161 --> 00:56:47,191

Faith over feelings.

:

00:56:47,191 --> 00:56:47,921

I like that one.

:

00:56:48,271 --> 00:56:51,051

So is there anything else you

want to tell the audience,

:

00:56:51,101 --> 00:56:55,021

, we mentioned your book,

80 Barry white voices.

:

00:56:55,441 --> 00:56:58,061

Um, can they get it on Amazon or?

:

00:56:58,576 --> 00:57:02,206

Yes, they can get it on 80 Barry

White Voices, Robert Dean Bell,

:

00:57:02,206 --> 00:57:03,716

it's on Amazon now and it's cheap.

:

00:57:03,716 --> 00:57:05,086

Everybody's like, man, you got it cheap.

:

00:57:05,336 --> 00:57:06,466

It's 14.

:

00:57:06,466 --> 00:57:08,746

99, but it's a, it's an impactful read.

:

00:57:08,746 --> 00:57:09,326

It's engaging.

:

00:57:10,636 --> 00:57:12,136

Teenagers should read this book.

:

00:57:12,256 --> 00:57:17,136

You know, uh, it's really like

a 00, you know, a 007 start.

:

00:57:17,146 --> 00:57:18,946

It just start off like action packed.

:

00:57:20,131 --> 00:57:21,591

You will see the story, man.

:

00:57:21,591 --> 00:57:23,111

I'm telling you, it's a great book.

:

00:57:23,121 --> 00:57:24,241

:

:

00:57:24,321 --> 00:57:28,801

Plus I want to shout out to my church,

Life Church, Milwaukee, and I'm here on

:

00:57:28,801 --> 00:57:34,451

56th and Burlap, our service times at 9 30

and 11 AM, right on 56th and Burlap, Life

:

00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:37,571

Church, Milwaukee, 9 o'clock services.

:

00:57:37,811 --> 00:57:41,981

And I'm here to tell you

that he is who we say he is.

:

00:57:42,041 --> 00:57:44,921

Christ Jesus is who we say he is.

:

00:57:45,631 --> 00:57:51,381

All right, I thank you so much for

that shout out and a great show again.

:

00:57:52,031 --> 00:57:56,691

I really don't get enough times to

talk about forgiveness, but your story

:

00:57:56,901 --> 00:57:58,821

and what you went through was perfect.

:

00:57:58,891 --> 00:58:03,431

And you just really gave us

the details about forgiveness.

:

00:58:04,161 --> 00:58:10,961

Life feelings, how you feel, how

you can get cheated, how, how was

:

00:58:10,981 --> 00:58:15,251

worth it and just how far you've

come and how God has blessed you.

:

00:58:15,541 --> 00:58:18,391

But I thank you again for joining me.

:

00:58:18,551 --> 00:58:23,321

Thank you audience for listening and may

you have a week filled with blessings.

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About the Podcast

Prisoner's Pardon
Prisoner's Pardon Trailer
A Prisoner’s Pardon, through storytelling, describes how prisoners are set free from physical and/or spiritual prisons (ex. Domestic & Drug Abuse) only via a pardon and not a reform program.

About your host

Profile picture for Michi - J

Michi - J

Michi J is a Chicago native who now lives in the Milwaukee area. By day, she works as an energy-industry analyst; she spends her remaining hours pursuing her lifelong passion of exploring and proclaiming the coming Kingdom of Christ. Her fiction and non-fiction writing explores, through storytelling, the parallel existence of physical and spiritual laws. Her favorite authors include Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Charles Spurgeon, C.S. Lewis, A.W.Tozer, Dr. Tony Evans, Erwin Raphael McManus, and Kitty Foth-Regner.